I always get a little grumpy in March… the winter isn’t quite over… birthday month (February) is (sadly) over… and spring isn’t quite here yet. It’s amazing to me that I can actually get out of bed.
Like my worst frenemy I’ve said hello to that kind of inexplicable frustration where you just feel restless but you can’t quite put your finger on what’s wrong… I just feel unsettled… kind of fidgety… and maybe a little grumpy, which no one really enjoys.
So to help clear out my space and feel better, I decided to start ‘spring cleaning’ a little early.
For the past year I’ve been taking these awesome psychic meditation classes where the over-arching idea is that everything is energy, and you start to be able to tell what is your energy and what is not your energy – you might have noticed I talk about this a little (a lot) here on the blog. So it stands to reason that if your space is filled up with old energy – or energy that just isn’t your own – it could be keeping new things from coming in and it can most definitely affect the way you feel in your space. This is true for your own non-physical energy around you – your aura – and also true for your physical space. If your house is filled up with stuff that isn’t you, it can be keeping awesome new things that are perfect for you from coming in. All that stuff has its own energy too… you can be affecting your energetic space with what you keep in your physical space.
My physical space is extra tiny – and I love it (and will share it with you soon, promise!) but even though I feel like I keep my space pretty clear of junk, I have been feeling a very strong urge lately to go through and really look at my space and get rid of everything that isn’t really me anymore.
And when I was really honest with myself I had to admit, there is quite a lot of stuff in my space that isn’t me… and also quite a lot of stuff that’s just taking up space.
So what’s hiding behind closed doors…
Part of me wants to be the kind of artist that sits down for hours and makes vision boards, that paints, and draws, or does collages – but if I’m really honest about who I am – right now – that isn’t it. It might be at some point in the future – but it isn’t me right now. So what am I doing hoarding magazines for collages that I don’t even have time to do?!
After seeing this pile that I have somehow found space for in my tiny apartment I felt like I might need to find a meeting somewhere.
I also went where I always have a hard time going – my closet. Also, every year or so I will do a “purge” and feel really good when I have a bag or two full of things to donate. And then I get real. I feel like if there isn’t a little bit of pain you really haven’t been real yet. I can always go through again and get rid of more. Not even of things I love, which I don’t believe you should necessarily make yourself give up – but really being honest about what is or isn’t you, what you will really never wear again, or haven’t ever worn after owning for a few years.
I realized that I would have these feelings that I’m wrong to get rid of something because I paid for it and haven’t worn it yet. But me keeping it in my closet never being used isn’t doing any good. And those feelings of being wrong aren’t even me – it’s someone else’s energy in my space. Letting go of things that aren’t serving the ‘you’ that you are now in a healthy way that continues to support you, frees you up to keep growing and it also lets the other things go on to better things too. My clothes will be loved by other people who they are right for. Many people see saying goodbye – to physical and non-physical stuff – as a sad thing, but I am really starting to see it as a good thing. Do I still feel a pang when I put the $200 pair of kate spade shoes that I never wore into the ‘goodbye’ pile? Sure, but at least now I’m aware of why. And I can just as easily sell them on ebay as give them away for free… goodbye can definitely be on your terms!
Here is a glimpse at what I’m saying goodbye to after my first pass through the closet:
To be totally honest, when I pulled everything back out of those bags to count them while writing this post, I might have had a little panicked “do I really want to give that away?” moment about a couple of things.. sigh… we’re only human I guess, but the clothes are going to an awesome charity, Dress for Success, and a quick reminder of that was all it took to wipe away the sudden inexplicable resistance to letting go.
So after the magazines and a first pass at the closet I had one more area that I knew needed attention – apparently I have a whole junk cabinet in my tiny kitchen. How did that even happen?!
Since I don’t have an office space, this cabinet was kind of a catch all for any and everything that didn’t have an official home. (More) magazines, papers, files, tissue paper (that I also feel compelled to keep for when I need it for wrapping presents? stop Nancy, just stop), old electronics that don’t work and that I haven’t recycled, paint that I never paint anything with and who knows what else. It all came out and it all either got put in a real ‘away’ place or went into the trash.
Until you open the doors it seems like everything is neat and tidy… this cabinet is a great metaphor for so many things.
Even if you can’t see it on the surface, there can be a lot of junk hidden away, taking up some of our very valuable space.
This was just round one of making room for the new this spring… and myself and my space… are starting to feel lighter, and better, already!