Diving into the awkward

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As I was recording… and re-recording, my video post.. and then editing… and editing more… I kept feeling inadequate… clumsy…

Things like ~ I don’t look or sound as good as other bloggers who do videos {or anyone else who is in front of the camera… ever} kept coming up… as I thought about bloggers and TV personalities who have been doing their thing for years, whether videos online or being actual TV show personalities and hosts… hmmm…

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But as I worked on it I realized {or rather remembered} something so so important ~

No one ever started something new and was perfect at it.

So I decided to post my ‘less than perfect’ video for that very reason.

If I had waited until it was ‘perfect’… I would have never posted it… I mean, if we insist on waiting for something to be ‘perfect’, we’ll be waiting for a l o n g while.

I love learning and growing, but the thing about learning, is that if you are doing it right, you are always moving into new territory, which is always a little clumsy. Learning, growing, moving forward, means always pushing your comfort zone… always treading into that new uncharted, unfamiliar space… it’s where all the good stuff is…

But it means that you always visit the clumsiness and ‘less than perfect’ beginnings as well…

and maybe that’s the best part.

At first after I recorded my video post about having more, I couldn’t even watch myself for at least a week. I literally couldn’t watch the video of myself. For real. I mean wow, if I can’t watch myself, how can I expect other people to watch me?! Talk about it being a big deal to be seen.

Then I watched my first pass and did it again… and again… and again… each time working through more kinks… learning more and each time was a little better. Was I expecting to go from first time to Oscar winning performance on my first video? Nope… but just getting something that I liked watching, could laugh at, and being able to talk about something that is important to me is a big deal, and posting it was a big accomplishment personally.

It feels great to have seniority in things… to be great at something… but the risk is that when you reach a certain level of seniority and comfort in something, you stop growing.. you get so comfortable that you resist trying new things… that old fear of ‘looking silly’ comes up… or ‘what will people think’…

So look silly, let people see you and admire that you are trying something new and having movement and growth… and stay in touch with learning and growing… and being able to laugh at the journey. <3

And just for fun, here’s my favorite video about messing up but keeping your cool and owning it. It definitely helps when things get clumsy and awkward!

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