I just realized… I have a problem with commitment.

In my last video post I talked about realizing that I was playing it safe by always having twenty different things going on {contrary to my belief up until then that I was just amazing at multi-tasking… and just amazing in general}. I intentionally started taking things off of my plate so that I could really focus on the most important things I was wanting to create. But sometimes even when you make purposeful changes like that, you don’t quite see the effects that you are wanting… so what’s up?

Last week I was trying to write a short lecture for a class I was taking, about our ability to have {or not have} anything, and I just couldn’t manage to get into a groove and get this thing written. I would sit for hours, and think and write and re-write, I was so uncertain and I just couldn’t get it to where I wanted. I sent what felt like my millionth draft to my teacher openly admitting that it wasn’t even close to being ‘there’ yet, and his feedback for me was that I could make the lecture great if I just commit to my writing and get certain. And then it clicked.



We want more of things all of the time, it’s part of life. Sometimes we can make them real without much effort, but for our biggest dreams, they often seem like they are too big, too lofty, more than we could ever have. Maybe other people can have what we dream of, whether it’s a certain amount of success, kind of relationship, connection to our body and vitality or level of health, or even something material like a house – but not us.

If everything is energy, our ability to have is energy too. When we want more of something, we have to shift our energy, and our body, to the new vibration {the higher vibration of the new thing we want} to be able to have it be real.

Seems simple right? Well, energy might move really fast, and it can change in an instant, but our bodies take time to adjust. It’s a huge deal to shift your body into a new way of being. Getting it used to being at a higher vibration… getting it used to having more.

Our bodies like what is familiar. Why do you think everyone has such a hard time making New Years Resolutions stick? Even though we know what we want is better than what we have now, our bodies want to stay in the lower vibration… because it’s familiar, and it feels more safe.

Are you committed to your dream enough to bring your body along – and make it real? I can agonize and {not actually} write for hours, but is that making my dream real? Am I really committed during that time? Is all my energy present and engaged, in my space and my body, working in the higher vibration for that time?

All those hours I was stuck and frustrated and not making progress writing my lecture, my body was kind of there, but my energy wasn’t there… I wasn’t committed. And I definitely didn’t have certainty.

As I read the feedback from my teacher about committing I had a big time realization. Commitment is about really bringing all of my energy back to myself, and connecting my energy with my body, so that my body can have more. There is a distance between where we are now and where we want to be. Usually we don’t imagine the process of making something we want real, we just imagine the end result, the having of the whole dream, not the small day after day of bringing it to fruition. As I sat with his comment about committing, and being certain, I realized, I need to dive in more, really commit, my energy and my body, into having my big dreams, every day.

I had the big ‘aha’ moment that in creating something new, any discomfort or doubt I feel on a body level is partly just my body being uncomfortable in the new energy. In moments when I might normally let myself get distracted, put other things first, or end up wasting a bunch of time hemming and hawing in uncertainty and struggle ~ just having the awareness that my body is adjusting gives me a whole new perspective. I can acknowledge and understand this part of the process and move through it, be gentler on myself, coax my body along into the new way of being with a little less effort and struggle, and a little more love and permission. And keep diving in more. Having in that moment ~ more.

Then, as I go to have my dream, a little bit each day, my body gets more used to the new way, to having that new thing, to having more… it gets more real.

diving in 2


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