My big real estate ‘regret’…

When we think something is impossible, is it really? Or is it just not possible for us because we think it’s impossible?

The more years I’m here on this big round ball of air and water, the more I’m realizing that so much of what we think and feel and believe is just programmed into us day after day, second after second, for most of our lives… it’s not right or wrong, it’s just what we know… and if that way of seeing the world isn’t working ~ ie. we think things that we really want are impossible… or that something we want has to be immensely difficult to have , just to name a couple of examples ~ we have to first realize that much of what we are experiencing is just the energy of all of that programming built up in our space from our entire life so far, and then we have to put something else in it’s place in order to have a new experience.

white house

I’m not a big ‘if I could do anything over again’ person, or someone who holds on to a lot of regrets. Sure, I have plenty of cringe-worthy moments to look back on in my life, but I tend to view everything as a learning opportunity in one way or another, and messy sometimes embarrassing memories are {hopefully} good stories that bring some laughter and amusement.

But, if I could go back and do one thing again, I would have bought a place so much sooner than I actually did.

What a weird thing to want to redo, right? I don’t really think so…

It’s always easier to see something more clearly when we look back on it in the past than when we are in the thick of it in the present. And this is no different for me than anyone else. And of course I can’t actually go back and change this, but I do wish I had come to a few realizations a bit sooner in my life.

I grew up in a family that wasn’t poor, but wasn’t well off. My parents had both grown up very poor, and while they were able to create a better life for themselves and their family, the poverty mindset that they grew up with permeated our lives.

We grew up with what I later read is the most damaging and unhealthy dialogue around money, when you constantly hear ‘we can’t afford it’ and ‘we don’t have the money’ but then your parents spend money anyway. So as I grew up I always thought to myself ~ I don’t have any money’ and I spent money anyway…

I also had so many preconceived ideas of my financial fate… what was or wasn’t possible, how easy or difficult so many things would be… and by and large they all came true because that’s all I had in my head, in my space, it’s all I had ever imagined or been able to experience. And one of those things is that I always thought buying a house was so far outside of the realm of what I could have that I never even tried to learn what it would take to buy something.

living room inspo.jpeg

I was so intimidated by the entire process, and so self conscious of things like my student loan debt that I was so scared to ask anyone for information or guidance… reach out and talk to an actual real estate broker ~ no. way. Paralyzed by fear.

Because I knew I wasn’t ready I was terrified anyone I talked to would think I was a joke and think I was wasting their time.

So years went by and I never started saving… I had a cute rental that I enjoyed and so I stayed there. I thought I wouldn’t be able to buy a place until I was in a relationship and that’s just what happened.

I’m so excited about our place now, and to have this dream finally come true, but the truth is, I could have had it for myself much earlier, if I had just been able to clear away all of the fear I had… if I had been able to see that all of the things I thought were impossible wasn’t even my energy or my truth.

These days you can google so much, I didn’t learn anything about the buying process or what was required until I actually became a real estate broker, but with a few quick searches you can find a lot of great information.

There are definitely agents out there who suck and don’t want to talk to someone who is a first time buyer and is a few years away from purchasing because they have to build up savings, but that’s not most of us. The truth is that buying a house is a huge deal, and like most other super valuable information/knowledge in life, they don’t teach you about it in school… how else will you learn if you don’t just ask someone {even if it’s google until you feel comfortable enough to reach out to a real person!}

Last year I posted about the heart attack I had when I looked back and realized how much money I spent on clothes I didn’t love, my Starbucks habit… all kinds of things I wasn’t really actively taking any control over. Sure, I have a lot of student loan debt, but that didn’t change when I finally decided to make my dream of buying a fixer upper come true. The only thing that changed was my priorities, my engagement and control over my money, and that could have happened a lot sooner.

Over the five plus years I lived in my cute studio, home values in my neighborhood soared. It went from a scrappy up and coming neighborhood next to the popular part of town and became one of the most popular areas to live in in the city. I missed out on all of that appreciation and value I could have been earning because I just didn’t think I could have it.

I also had some judgment about what was a worthwhile property to buy… a one bedroom condo ~ psshhhtt, nope. I thought anything smaller than a two-bedroom space was a waste of money and a poor investment, which just isn’t true! Sure, it wouldn’t have been my forever home, but is any home really a forever home?

bedroom light.jpeg

Over the past few years my mindset toward money has completely shifted, and so has my mindset toward real estate and just what a powerful tool it is for increasing your wealth. I’m sure a lot of that is because I became a real estate broker and I know more now, and so I want to share as much of is as possible here with you in case you are struggling with some of the same self-limiting beliefs that I felt for such a long time.

So if you are thinking you wish you could buy a place but don’t think it’s possible, how much have you looked into it? Could those ‘impossible’ thoughts be someone else’s energy that’s just been in your space on autoplay for so long that you think it’s your energy? It might be time to take a closer look at what you’ve been wanting but thinking is impassible… it might be more achievable than you realize!



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